figuring things out...

that has been my past couple weeks... letting things surface... writing them down... working through my thoughts, which is much harder than i thought...
so overwhelmed right now. giving things to God... and struggling with the silliest smallest worries... wanting so badly not to fail...
maybe being too easy on myself, but so weary at the same time...

I read this today (It's actually yesterday's post) of My Utmost For His Highest... It's amazing how everytime I read it, it applies a lot to what I'm dealing with spiritually... (and for those tired of my super long posts... you can skip and scroll...)


---------------------------------------------------------
If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them —John 13:17

Be determined to know more than others. If you yourself do not cut the lines that tie you to the dock, God will have to use a storm to sever them and to send you out to sea. Put everything in your life afloat upon God, going out to sea on the great swelling tide of His purpose, and your eyes will be opened. If you believe in Jesus, you are not to spend all your time in the calm waters just inside the harbor, full of joy, but always tied to the dock. You have to get out past the harbor into the great depths of God, and begin to know things for yourself— begin to have spiritual discernment.

When you know that you should do something and you do it, immediately you know more. Examine where you have become sluggish, where you began losing interest spiritually, and you will find that it goes back to a point where you did not do something you knew you should do. You did not do it because there seemed to be no immediate call to do it. But now you have no insight or discernment, and at a time of crisis you are spiritually distracted instead of spiritually self-controlled. It is a dangerous thing to refuse to continue learning and knowing more.

The counterfeit of obedience is a state of mind in which you create your own opportunities to sacrifice yourself, and your zeal and enthusiasm are mistaken for discernment. It is easier to sacrifice yourself than to fulfill your spiritual destiny, which is stated in Romans 12:1-2. It is much better to fulfill the purpose of God in your life by discerning His will than it is to perform great acts of self-sacrifice. "Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice . . ." ( 1 Samuel 15:22 ). Beware of paying attention or going back to what you once were, when God wants you to be something that you have never been. "If anyone wills to do His will, he shall know . . ." ( John 7:17 ).

---------------------------------------------------


I'm back to good 'ol NNU for training camp. Our band got a good bit done today, working through some of our pieces. I just read through a large portion of the keyboard manual (rgggg...) trying to figure some things out... technology and I aren't so hot about each other... oh well.... guess i have to do what i need to...

Really great group... everyone is a lot of fun to be with! We will have a good time this summer....

Especially if it warms back up :)


p.s. I will post our church information soon so that you can come see us! :)